Friday, June 5, 2009

Just so you will always remember and I will never forget

*I started writing this post in mid-March and it took me this long to finally get around to finishing it, today, on her 6 month birthday. It's raw and the grammar is, I'm sure, incorrect, but these are my words, how I remember it and how I want Lucy to remember it.*

This post is mostly for me, and for Lucy, so that you, my sweet girl, will always remember and I will never forget how you came into this crazy, beautiful world.

Everything about your arrival Lucy was completely different than Brady's arrival and that made this Mama crazy. At 36 weeks I was asking the doc to induce me because that's when Brady was born and I didn't feel like going any further than that! How would I know what natural labor felt like, how would I know when to go to the hospital? I didn't like not being in control of the situation! I felt like a first time Mom because I didn't know what to expect.

Your due date, according to me, was December 6th, 2008. The doc said your due date was December 9th. The ultrasound said December 5th, 2008. My tummy was measuring little, I only gained 22 lbs. Family, friends and strangers kept telling me I was going to go late with you because my tummy was little. I thought they were probably right!

On December 4th, which was a Thursday, we were getting ready to go to the grocery store to get candy and icing for our gingerbread houses. Before we left I made a phone call to your Grandma Zollars to ask her about a sign that my body was giving me that you might be coming soon. I described what was happening and she said you could be coming soon or it could be days still.

We came home and put Brady to bed but he didn't cooperate, he got to bed late. I sat down at the computer to catch up on some emails and then came the contractions. I decided that I'd better go rest. I fell asleep for a few hours and woke up around 1am because the contractions had gotten stronger. I let Dada sleep and went downstairs to watch the clock and count the minutes ticking by between each contraction. I sat on the couch and typed Sarah an email because you see, earlier in that week, on Tuesday, the 2nd, she wrote me an email that said:

Okay, I'm thinking she's going to come on Friday

And at 3:01am on Friday, December 5th, I wrote this to her.

Dear friend,
I think today is the day. If not today by tomorrow. Right now, contractions every 8-10 mins. that last about 30 seconds. It's hell, I forgot LOL And all along I thought for sure (and so did everyone else it seems) that she was going to be late. She might just be right on time..

Didn't watch Grey's, B was still awake at 940p so at that point I was so tired I just decided to go to sleep. Apparently that was a good decision. I'm going to watch it now though, keep my mind off of what is potentially going to happen in the next 24-48 hours :) I'll be in touch my friend.

I tried to watch Grey's but I was so miserable I couldn't concentrate, even on McDreamy. LOL. Brady woke up at some point crying for me, perhaps he knew that his life was about to drastically change, I don't know. I lied on his floor next to his toddler bed and I (silently) cried and cried for two reasons, 1. I was in pain, 2. I was sad and happy for what was apparently going to actually happen. He fell asleep and I decided to take a shower. I woke up your Dada and told him that today was the day and asked him to call his Mom to let her know because she was going to come take care of Brady. I took my shower and then finished packing my bag with odds and ends. Grandma Zollars came over a few minutes after 5am. We got into the car and noticed it was snowing. It snowed the day Brady arrived too.

While we driving to hospital, Dada was eating Cheerios and wow, the smell of the cheerios was making me feel oh so nausea. I know, Cheerios?? Who knew the smell of cheerios was so strong? Unfortunately the nausea turned into sickness and we had to stop of the side of 35 so I could get sick. This nausea didn't go away for the rest of the labor. I was getting sick at least twice an hour until you arrived.

When we got to the hospital on base, I tried to walk up to the Family Birthing Center but I made it about two steps and Dada had to wheel me up in a wheelchair. The first person we saw when we got on the floor said "did you call before you came?" Not even a good morning or hello or how are you doing. No lady, I forgot to call before we arrived. Sorry. Thankfully, once the doctor checked me and told me that yes, in fact, you were coming today, I didn't feel so bad that I hadn't called. I was 6 cm dialated at 5:50am. The doc that admitted me, Dr. Newman, said the same thing everyone kept saying to me "oh you are so tiny, you don't look like you are going to have a baby today". He felt my stomach, pushed and pressed and said "I think you are going to have about a 5lb 10oz baby". Little did he know.

The got me set up in a room and we got things moving with the epidural. It took a long time to get the epidural because they were concerned about my very low blood pressure. The anestesiologist wanted to have several reads on my BP before she would administer the epidural. I kept saying "I have low BP", "that's normal for me" but the silly blood pressure "machine" kept sounding an alarm because of my low reads. It felt like hours passed but finally I got the epidural and was able to relax.

After that, not much happened, we chatted with the wonderful nursing staff, a few docs came in and out, we watched Sportscenter, I kept asking for a Pepsi (which every nurse promised would be delivered to me as soon as you arrived), I got sick LOTS of times, we talked to Mema and Grandma on the phone, the blood pressure alarm kept sounding, and you, little one, stayed cozy and warm inside.

Around 11:45am, I started to feel some major pressure so it seemed like it was time to push. So that I did. For 2 hours and 45 mins.

And then it happened, you were here. You were healthy and big and oh you had a cone head. All that pushing and you not wanting to come out did a number on your sweet little head. Our 7 lb 11oz, 21 inches long Lucy May Zollars, arrived at 2:30pm on a snowy, cold December day. And from the moment you took your first breath, Lulu, you won us over, you drew us in, you "had us at hello". Our girl, our sweet angel, our little beauty; we were madly in love with you.

We called Mema and Pop, we called Grandma and Grandpa. Your Aunt Laura announced your arrival on Facebook, (something you may or may not know about when you are older). All of the family was of course elated and couldn't wait to meet you. The nurses made good on their promise to bring me a Pepsi, two in fact. It tasted amazing.

Your big brother Brady arrived with Grandma and Grandpa Zollars around 5pm. Not going to lie, he didn't really care about you. He just wanted to see me and Dada. This is what we expected though. He looked at you and talked about the little crib you were in but mostly he just wanted to know when I was coming home.

You figured out how to eat, took your bottle with no problem. All systems were a go. From the beginning, you were calm, laid back, content. I held you the entire time, taking in your features, your smell, listening to you breathe. I wanted to remember every little tiny inch of who you were, wondering who you were going to become.

We stayed at the hospital until Sunday, December 7th at lunchtime.

Home we went, on that bitter cold December day. The Zollars Family, party of 4


The Zaisers said...

Jenny, this is so sweet.

Sally said...

Beautiful post, Jenny. You'll be so glad you took the time to write it. Thanks for sharing!

Sarah said...

Grace is asking me why I'm crying! What a great birth story, Lucy will love reading it as she gets you guys!

Nikole said...

OH.. I'm crying.. Lucy, what a great way to come into the world. You have one great mommy!

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